I do admit to making stuff up as I go along, really not having a plan going into a scene, beyond something vague like, “I really feel like giving him the strap tonight.” There are certain things I’ll just make a bottom accept. I assume he knows what I’m about and that’s why he wants to play with me.
I will, in general, spank hard. I will punish a bottom for disrespect or bad language during a session as well. I don’t care about bad language outside of a scene, except when I am getting to know a sub and I sense that he’s trying to bait me with dirty words. (Oh, by the way, if a sub insults me and thinks that’s “bratting,” he better go find another top.)
During a scene, it’s “Yes, Ma’am” or “No, Ma’am,” and I can and will punish for transgressions. But there’s a symbiosis there — this is what most bottoms I play with want; they want to not get away with bad behavior. They want me to pay attention to them, to react. If they are muttering under their breath, they do not want me to let it go. So I’m reacting to them, not deciding ahead of time that they’re getting x number of strokes — although I may want to give the sub 100 strokes with my strap. I may or may not tell him; I may give all the strokes in a row, or I may give him 10 at a time … on thing I rarely do is make a sub count. It’s not something I’m really into.