That’s the real me you see in the pictures, and, I’m on multiple sites where I’ve also posted pictures. On my old website I posed in a wig. I thought the long hair looked nice and it disguised me somewhat, but it wasn’t “me.” I have short hair and I’ll probably cut it shorter before we get much deeper into summer. (I also wear glasses and I don’t like posing in them, but that’s another story.)
So obviously, I am “out” on line, and I regularly go to real-life events where I could be “seen” by someone.
This has become, at this stage in my life, pretty much a non-concern. In New York at least, I’m not doing anything illegal. What I offer is a consulting business, a therapeutic service to help improve behavior. Naturally those are code words, but what they stand for is allowed under the law. I don’t do sexual domination; I administer corporal punishment and discipline.
To vanilla friends and family, that distinction would probably mean nothing. They would be shocked, especially the more conservative ones (I have quite a few conservative family mentions, my father leading the pack). I can’t image how any of them would accidentally come across my pages, and if they come across me during a search for something like what I offer, then any criticism they might have for ME would become a “pot calling the kettle black” situation.
Self-acceptance aside, I don’t relish the thought of being outed to that degree. I do not want coworkers and family knowing what I do. If someone showed me my online picture and said, “Is this YOU?” I would hope to have enough of a poker face to respond, “Wow, that DOES look a lot like me. How crazy is that?” There are one or two family members to whom I may tell the truth. My younger brother, whom I strongly suspect of being closeted in another way, is one of them. We are pretty close and he’s very open-minded. I have two other brothers who would think it very strange, but probably wouldn’t judge me. The rest would freak and some might completely ostracize me. I don’t need that. Much as I find their conservatism annoying at times, they are still my family and I like having them around.
But I’ve never felt a great urge to talk about my lifestyle. Even though I’m not “doing” sex, this IS a sexual kink, and in polite company I don’t discuss my sexual behavior. TMI.