Last week’s poll asked: “For bottoms, what’s your biggest turn-on?” Most popular response was “Giving up control” (42%). Following that was “humiliation” (21%), “pain” (17%), “age play” (9%) and “fear” (8 %).
I was sort of surprised that fear was so far down on the list, since this is one of my top turn-ons when I switch.
But I also identify with how strong a rush it can be to give up control. For people who are in charge on the jobs, or who have to make a lot of decisions on a regular basis where the wrong decision may be very costly (ie, a doctor, a pilot, a stockbroker) this can be an incredible release from the worries of life. “I am now in my domme’s hands and she will make the decisions. I will suffer pain, but I don’t have to do anything but accept it. I’m going to ‘be done to.'”
A sub may communicate to me beforehand what is and isn’t cool to use on him, or his preferred scenario — but once the play begins, he hands over the reins and I take them.