I had to laugh. A guy wrote me on FetLife a day or two ago asking if I wanted a sub. I wrote back and repeated what is already on my FetLife profile — that I am not seeking subs except as clients (I don’t count the friends that I play with at parties; but then again, they are not my subs but my friends).
Why aren’t I seeking a sub? Tempting as it might be to take on a “service submissive,” I simply don’t have the time or the space to devote to someone right now. I am married and I can’t bring a sub to my house, and I’m also involved with a lot of other endeavors, including working on my second book.
But I guess this sub didn’t like that answer so he wrote back, “Get a real job and stop using people.”
I don’t consider what I do using people; I consider it a personal service. I certainly don’t coerce anyone into playing; I represent myself honestly and tell clients up front what I am offering and the fee for what I offer, and if that is acceptable and what they want, we play. Most people leave a session quite satisfied. Any one of my clients is free to play with other pros, or to find a regular play partner, and I won’t be insulted. I want people to be happy, to find what they need. In fact, I’ve encouraged some of the guys who’ve come to me for a session to attend local parties to meet other players. Just this weekend, one of my clients was at the Strictly Spanking New York party and from what I can see he had a great time.
That’s obviously not an option open to everyone; some people have to be very discrete, and that’s another reason they seek out my professional services.
I don’t have to do this at all; I have a full-time “real job.” As I’ve expressed here many times, I ENJOY playing with my friends and with clients who are respectful and appreciative. I don’t enjoy guys who are whiners and who can’t read a person’s profile before contacting her, THEN have the nerve to be insulting.
The guy who wrote me had one run-on sentence, full of typos, as his FetLife profile. No interests checked off, no photo, nothing. One of the attributes he claimed in his profile was “open-minded.” Really?