Do switches really have more fun?

I was asked to speak at Paddles this coming Saturday for the TES Spanking Group, and I’ve asked my friend Gary (sweetboyNYC —, another switch, to help present with me.

We’re going to talk about switching from both the male and female points of view, and discussing both the benefits and the negative sides of this. There are still prejudices out there (some bottoms feel that they need to have a “true” top/dominant in order for it to be a good experience; some tops feel they can’t talk about their forays into the other side because it will give them a bad image). To use that word again, are there “true” switches? Or does everyone really lean more one way or the other, and does it matter? What if you want to switch to please a partner, but it doesn’t feel “natural” — should you still try to do it? How do you get more comfortable?

In my own experience I’ve found that starting as a bottom and being a rather heavy player has taught me not only “tricks” and handy phrases to use when I top, but empathy and understanding of what the bottom is going through. I’m curious to learn what those who started as tops and later tried bottoming went through. There are many who only top publicly, and we may never hear their perspectives.

The talk starts at 8 p.m. at 250 West 26th Street, Basement, between 7th and 8th avenues (Map). Cost is $4 for TES members, students, and members of other leather/fetish organizations; $8 for non-members. There’s a discount to stay and play at the club later if you wish.

I hope to get a nice crowd out. We’ll be talking and spanking, and I’m sure we can arrange for audience participation as well. I look forward to hearing your experiences.

Cross posted on my alter ego’s blog,

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