Last night’s talk about switching at TES went very well. Thank you to all who came out and participated in the discussion, and thanks to TES for inviting me. I was a last-minute substitution for Tasha Lee, who had to go out of town. Hope all who wanted to see Tasha spank Sarah Gregory aren’t too disappointed.
My co-presenter, Gary (http://fetlife.com/users/172906) and I discussed why we switch, how we got into it (both of us started as bottoms), and what we get out of it. There was a lot of discussion about negative opinions in the scene about switches, sometimes from female bottoms who are looking for a top who just tops. Several people expressed that they play with tops who happen to switch, but not with them, so it doesn’t affect anything. For myself, there are some switches that I will never top and there some that I will never bottom to. It’s just the individual chemistry.
One man who’s known in the scene as a hard bottom said he would like to top more, but was worried he wouldn’t be taken seriously as a top because of his background. I think that concern is shared by female tops who switch as well. I was told, “Never bottom in public” if you want to maintain your Domme image. But playing in public in either orientation is one of my kinks, and I don’t want to give that up. I think the key thing is being true to yourself. No one says you have to switch, but no one should think anything less of a person who does. I think it probably IS harder for men in the scene who switch, but it is getting a lot better.
I got the chance to top Gary again later. Also topped my friend Henry, who also seemed to enjoy it. I was not nice. I have this wicked little short slapper — a thick, compact piece of solid leather — that I used a lot last night along with several other painful tricks. It got good results.