Not a pretty tie

Tuesday night I found myself at Purple Passion, learning about “Asymmetrical Bondage” with author and teacher Lee Harrington. It was my first time meeting Lee, and he seemed like a fun person (although looking at pics on his FetLife profile, I can see that he plays hard) and was an excellent, patient teacher. Lee just moved from Arizona to Brooklyn so I’m sure our paths will cross again somewhere in New York.

The class itself was about “coloring outside the lines” (I’m paraphrasing Lee). Bondage is often symmetrical — rope on the left half of the body looks the same as the rope on the right half of the body. But there’s no reason it has to be that way, and there’s often good reasons for not doing it that way.

“Asymmetrical bondage is not just aesthetically pleasing, but a sexually and sensually pleasing practice that puts us out of balance, reminding us where balance really is important,” Lee wrote in a handout he distributed for the class. He pointed out that asymmetry keeps people on their toes and provides a challenge, among other benefits.

Sometimes you need access to part of the body that might be covered if you did symmetrical bondage. Sometimes you want to put an arm somewhere different (ie, some rope masters like Lew Rubens (FetLife: use the wrist as a gag) just want to put someone in an awkward position. Some just like to make their bottom uncomfortable, perhaps a little humiliated.

Lee briefly talked about taking asymmetry beyond bondage — using it in a scene to go beyond the “norm” of starting with the warm-up and building gradually. He said there’s no reason a scene couldn’t be a roller coaster ride.

I hope to try some of Lee’s ideas soon. I enjoyed the class, and I was happy to meet Lee and his boy, Aiden (who acted as “demo bottom”), and to see other people that I knew in the scene.



Photo above used with permission of Lew Rubens,

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