A few little words

As I’ve written here before, I like lists, making and reading them (you know the magazines suck us in with those things — Better Homes & Gardens: “5 Best Casseroles”; People Magazine: “10 Best Celeb Quotes This Week”; Cosmo: “7 Things to Say to a Naked Man” … and according to Cosmo, #4 is “Hold on, let me memorize every detail for my spank bank.” OK. Good to know.)

But it’s not always easy coming up with an interesting list and staying topic, ie, spanking or BDSM. Ideas are of course always welcome.

Believe it or not, Anthony Weiner inspired me. (You gotta take inspiration from wherever it comes.) I was talking to Rad about how I really dislike the term “sexting,” “the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones.” And there’s not any real reason that I dislike it. I guess to me it sounds like you’re actually doing something sexual, and it’s elevating sending a picture to the level of committing an actual act. Believe it or not, the first time I heard this term was when I was shooting with Punished Brats. One of the scenarios we shot was where I was a principal, and I punished an honor student who’d accidentally texted dirty pictures of herself to her whole phone list.

So, my list for today: spanking and related words that annoy me:

1. Spanko. It may be a necessary evil, and I’ve had to use it myself as a shortcut to describe “people who are into spanking, tops and bottoms.” But I find that word kind of annoying. It makes it all sound so frivolous, like everything we do is light-hearted, silly fun. Don’t get me wrong, spanking often can be fun. But it can also be very serious and involve a real power exchange between two people.

2. Funishment: Similar to above. I feel it reduces what’s usually a fairly serious scene to the level of something trivial and fluffy. It may not be a “real” punishment, my bottom may be able to say a safeword and walk away any time he wants, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a very serious scene.

3. Heiny. I feel like this hardly needs explaining. It’s just wrong. (Oh, and the plural is “heinies,” not “heiney’s … oops, we’ll save apostrophe abuse for another blog.)

4. Cum. Yes, I said it. I hate that “word.” It’s not in my dictionary spelled that way; it’s “come.” Why do I hate it? It’s hard to explain. It seems really crude and base to me. An orgasm is a good thing, it doesn’t have to be disgusting and raunchy. And I feel spelling the word “come” as “cum” makes it more raunchy than it needs to be. Don’t get me started on strangers on FetLife messaging me and using that word.

5. Sexting. Explained above.


  1. Mike

    I believer “spanko” is short for “spankophile,” another made-up word like Bibliophile, Anglophile . . etc. meaning one that has an attraction or affinity for the prefix. It sort of makes sense, though I call myself a “spanking purist” meaning that I’m not into getting tied up, spat on, or sexually teased by someone wearing fetish clothing. A related word that I don’t care for is “spankee.” That one just sounds like its construction is just too forced.

  2. Just a girl

    I am so very with you on these, particularly the word “cum”. That one really gets to me. Great post.

  3. Mike, that’s probably true (which doesn’t make it any more palatable, to me!). There are lots of labels, spanking purist or not, you’re going to get lumped in and called a spanko.

  4. Yay, another person who’s picky about words! ‘Heiny’ is clearly just wrong :)

    I always thought ‘funishment’ did mean a light-hearted scene that included some impact play, so I can understand your frustration with people calling a more serious scene ‘funishment’.

  5. Problem with “funishment” is I keep seeing it pop up in threads about “is punishment ‘real’?”

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