It’s about my enjoyment, not my obligation

I could have done, once again, with the dirty looks from a certain person after I said no thank you to a play request. It hurts to be turned down, but it also doesn’t feel good to have to turn someone down, and it really sucks to have to turn someone down for the fifth or sixth time. I’ve said this before: If I approached a guy and asked for play and he said no, I would never approach him again–he’d have to make the first move. I wish someone could explain why some guys ask girls to play over and over after the first “no.” And I don’t even say, “Not now” or “Maybe later.” I say, “No, thank you.” I do feel for those who aren’t playing, but a lot of these guys play a lot because of their persistence.

I usually attend the female tops/male bottoms parties they hold at most spanking parties (they’re usually held on a Friday or Saturday afternoon, for one or two hours). In the past I’ve played with anyone who wanted to play, if there was enough time. Some guys are new, some are very shy, and this helps break the ice for them. Many I’ve had no attraction to at all but I played with them because I felt that was my obligation at this particular event.

But because of past history, there are a few men with whom I simply don’t want to play, and I no longer feel any obligation toward meeting their needs.

One of the reasons I don’t want to play with Mr. Dirty Looks is that he is insatiable and demanding. (not only with tops but with people in general–at hotels, at restaurants, etc.) I’ve topped him in the past and he always wanted more and more and more. When I was working as a pro he would never consider booking me for a real session, but tried to abuse the mini-specials I used to run at Paddles. (The special was $20 for 20 strokes with the implement of your choice–cane, paddle, strap, etc.–or a 15-minute hand spanking. He’d ask for the special, then want me to use every item in his toy bag). Because of him and a few others I eventually offered this special to newbies only.

At one spanking party in the recent past this man insulted me by making sure I knew he preferred a certain famous pro-domme over me. I don’t like that. Don’t tell me you like someone else’s style better. You like Ms. Famous Pro better? Go play with Ms. Famous Pro and then don’t bother me.

This is NOT in any way a jibe at Ms. Famous Pro, who is actually very nice. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to monopolize her time, too, without giving anything back.

I play with whom I think I will enjoy playing with. The last three Crimson Moons I’ve enjoyed playing with my friend Richard because he’s nice, he’s fun and he can take a lot. I can go to town on him with the cane, paddles, whips or lots of other toys, and he loves it. And he doesn’t have to do this, but he offers me a massage at some point later in the weekend as an “exchange.” It’s a good massage (I just had mine earlier today) and I love it.

Some bottoms turn me on to look at, some are good friends, some can take a lot of pain so it’s exciting, some challenge you and you’re just in the mood to accept the challenge. Some you just want to hurt. And some you MAY just want to hurt, but you know they would like it too much …

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