“Are you going to hurt me?”

I was cuffed with my arms up over my head, watching him in the mirror that was in front of us. I wasn’t going anywhere. He gave me a look that I couldn’t interpret. Then he walked over and grabbed a fistful of my hair, yanked my head back and I saw his face get hard.

“That’s what you came here for, isn’t it?” he hissed. I let out a moan, then whispered, “Yes, Sir.” A wave of excited fear rushed through my body.

What was I in for?

He picked up an implement and began…

That was the beginning of the scene, which I shared about on FetLife on Saturday. This was with Suburban Spanker, Zelle‘s Dom and someone I met at my first Crimson Moon party in July 2010. We had been talking about playing since that first party, but the timing didn’t work out at that party or that last. Sometimes when this happens I think the top doesn’t really want to play with me, but I didn’t think that was the case this time. Zelle is a good friend (thank you again for picking us up at the airport) and I am pretty “SS” had a desire to play.

It’s a weird thing for me, when someone I consider an intense Dom wants to play with me. It makes me feel special. A good scene takes a lot of energy for both parties and you can only do so many of those during a party weekend. People who like to play a certain way tend to find each other. I might like to play with Dom A. and Dom B., and will find sub a and sub b also playing with both of them at parties. There CAN be jealousy and competition, but more often than not there’s an acknowledgment of like-minded souls.

Being asked to play is also a sign that the Dom respects me, in a way. He considers me tough enough or brave enough to take a certain level of pain.

Yet I’m not great with pain, honestly. I take it but I don’t take it easily. So it’s my ability to take a certain level, combined with the Dom’s ability to read me and push me beyond that level, that makes it a hot, intense scene.

I’m perfectly able to say a safe word. SS brought me near to that point several times. He’d flogged me and used several types of shorter whips before bringing out his single tail. A single tail whip can be used quite sensually if desired. SS didn’t desire to use it that way. It was pretty painful — not every single stroke, but most strokes. Beyond the whips, there was this nasty little “evil stick” that left circle-shaped bruises on my upper thighs.

I made noise. I broke position (he punished me for that, which I didn’t like at the time but was thrilled about later). And at one point I opened my hands as a symbol of distress … which he ignored. Perhaps he was “taking it under consideration,” but he kept going.  Two or three times he came in close to yank my hair again, to remind me of the position he’d asked me to maintain (my arms were bound but my legs were free).

He was mean, unforgiving. I was pretty scared at the time. I hated it. Then I loved it.

I didn’t get to witness it, but on Saturday night SS and a co-top, Nomad, topped Zelle. Both of them are pretty tough tops and they worked her over for quite a while. She said it was probably the hardest sccene she’d ever gone through … but like me, afterward she was flying.

Thanks, SS, for the great scene. Thanks, Zelle, for sharing …


1 Comment

  1. Wow Sandy! I didn’t get to see a whole lot of your seen with “SS”.. sure wished I had!

    I can honestly say.. “I feel your pain”! (grinz.. yup, been there). I was so hoping the two of you would find time to play.. as I knew he could push you as he does me. (I just sass him more.. since I’ve been playing with him in this manner since our 3rd session well over a yr ago.)

    For SS and I .. when my fingers are white-knuckling that little “hold on” bar that’s attached to those stanchion cuffs.. that means I’m in distress.. and when my fingers loosen, and open up in a relaxed manner.. that means I’m in the zone and good to go. (Hence the reason I’m sure that is why he kept pushing you when your hands went open)

    Oh yeah.. that damned evil stick of Morgan’s. He’s got two ya know. Just be glad SS didn’t start playing wipeout on your booty and thighs like SS did with me once using both of those nasty little evil sticks! I still have circles from play we did a week before the CCM party. LOL (I’m not complaining mind you) :-)

    In a pre-party warmup play session we had.. SS told me .. “DON’T move!” at one point – I was – like you – also untied at the feet .. but hands were secured above my head on a St. Andrews Cross. I have a hard time staying still. When I didn’t.. SS grabbed a heavy leather strap off the wall, and wailed on me 3 times with it and told me to NOT MOVE.

    I managed to stay stock still for as long as I could stand that single tail barrage.. but pretty soon, the tears started to well up. SS heard me sniffle .. so he came up and asked me if I was okay. I said “No. I can’t do this kind of play, if I have to stand still.” — So he said, “So you’re telling me that having you stand here stock still, on the cross, is the same as putting you in the corner.. as in. “You Hate It!” – I replied, “YES!” — So thank god he said.. “Okay, you can move now.” — Then there was a “Thank you Sir!” and we were on our way again!

    For me… personally… in order to assimilate.. and process the pain that comes with singletail play.. I need to move. Not bounce around.. but move like a slinky toy.. as that sensualizes the play for me, and allows me to absorb the shock waves of each pop from that singletail. SS now understands that.. and will not admonish me for those ‘cat like’ moves I make (aka gyrations) during singletail play.. but stepping to the left or right.. that is dealt with. :-)

    When I play with SS… I never really think of him as being “mean, and unforgiving” — I much prefer to think of my play with him as him being “dominant and challenging”. He sure does push me! BUT THEN, I damn sure push his buttons myself.. as that lets him know to ramp it up a notch cause I think I can take it. This is what’s so fun for me with him.. because each time we’ve played.. we’ve taken that play to a brand new level of intensity.

    This past Saturday night at the party was one of those times where I wanted to be tag teamed (you should try that next party!). In doing so (allowing myself to be tag teamed by two loving sadists) .. I pushed my own self past my own limits.. and in doing so, both Nomad_re (on Fetlife), and SS.. stepped up to the plate and pushed me back. I love the look of bliss those two got on their faces each and every time I sassed the hell out of them, so that they’d respond and drive me further over the edge, so I could fly on my endorphin rush. :-)

    So glad you had fun with SS.. here’s hoping you can do that again, and next time.. now that you know him much better.. sit down and discuss scenes.. and what my thrill you.. and see what happens!


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