I began the New Year battling a sudden stomach virus, added to my already existing head cold, sore throat and cough from which I am still recovering. I was miserable all of Sunday and spent most of it sleeping; was better today, as far as the virus, but my head cold and cough were still there. My regular doctor wasn’t open … I sat for an hour in the neighborhood walk-in clinic, listening to an extremely cranky receptionist while continuing to proofread the novel I’m working on (my head was hurting, but I still have a deadline to meet on Friday).
After a nurse took my temperature and blood pressure, the doc saw me for all of about 1.5 minutes, during which he looked at my throat, wrote a prescription for a Z-pac (antibiotics) and wished me a happy new year on his way out. Well, that’s what I really needed, anyway–the antibiotics–I wasn’t expecting bedside manners, and he was pleasant enough despite being rushed.
Funny thing was, I’d been wondering if I could start a diet New Year’s Day … you know, wondering whether I’d have the will power. The stomach virus sort of answered THAT question. I could barely eat anything. Had some oatmeal, an apple, and later some chicken and plain rice. Today was more of the same–very bland meals, small quantities. I also didn’t think caffeine would be good for me so I’ve been off it for two days. I think I will continue this; I’ve been wanting to kick it for a while now.
I try to start resolutions BEFORE the New Year, usually, so I would have been back at the gym a week ago, had I not been sick. I think I can manage at least the treadmill a few days this week, or whatever cardio machine is available–it’ll probably be crowded right after New Year’s.
New Year’s Eve was not the greatest. At the party I went to, I played with my husband Rad and I had a good time with him. He spanked me and did some other play with me. At that point I was still well enough to handle play. I didn’t feel up to topping anyone, and I didn’t feel very connected to the other party goers. I didn’t know enough people and, although I introduced myself to a number of folks, conversations weren’t flowing easily for me. I’m sure it was me and my energy level. A few people I knew showed up, eventually, but even then I know I wasn’t being very talkative. The party actually ran till 6 a.m. and they were going to serve breakfast, but my husband and I left shortly after 1.
I titled this blog “no resolutions” because I don’t really want to announce “I’m going to try to change this, this and this.” I always want to lose a little weight, New Year’s or not, so that’s a given. But one thing I really, really, really want to focus on this year is not feeling guilty. Not feeling guilty that I gained a few pounds, not feeling guilty that I haven’t written fiction in a while, not feeling guilty that right now I’m writing a blog when I should be … reading … practicing guitar … responding to an email … etc. etc. etc. There are other things I want to work on, yes, but I’m going to try my darnedest not to feel guilty if I fall short.
Oh, of course, if there’s a REAL reason for feeling guilty, I’ll claim it. But most of the time, there isn’t. So, that’s my plan for today. Less guilt in 2012.