I’m having such a hard time writing about the LIFE in Nassau meeting last Friday, where the topic was “urethral sounding.” (If you don’t know what urethral sounding is, you can go to this Wikipedia article or to this bmezine.com article. )
It’s a difficult topic to write about, and hard not to feel weird about it, even when you’ve learned that the person about to have this done to him really enjoys it–and that was the case with my play partner, Johnny, who acted as demo bottom to the presenter, LISorceress.
But certain topics or types of play will always be uncomfortable for some.
Needle play was one topic of discussion at the munch before the Long Island Leather N Roses meeting last week, mainly because Mistress Trish is going to be demonstrating it at the next LILNR meeting on July 24.
Like sounding, needle play is edge play. I’ve never had it done to me; I haven’t met a needle play expert who appealed to me enough to convince me to try it. I look at needle play with curiosity, and that’s pretty much it. It’s one of those things that I’ve wondered about but didn’t feel any “calling” to try.
A while back I knew a woman who, like me, enjoyed impact play. But then she did a needle play scene at one party and was hooked on it. She told me that processing this pain felt much more internal and personal than it would for a spanking or a whipping. I didn’t understand, because I felt that processing any type of pain is “internal,” but yet I saw that it had affected her in some deeper way. So I always wondered what she meant. I knew, however, that each person processes pain differently. It might be entirely different for me that it was for her.
Prior to that conversation, I could not watch people getting stuck with needles. I accepted that a top could form pretty patterns and do creative things with needles, but witnessing the process was too much for me. On Tuesday, several people at the LILNR munch expressed similar feelings. Seeing needle play makes them feel uncomfortable, maybe a little squeamish, and a lot of people simply have a fear of needles; I think that’s fairly common.
It was my friend telling me how much she loved it that convinced me to watch. I move slowly as far as accepting or watching certain new types of play–play that in my head, you have to be either crazy or some serious masochist to try. I was at Paddles one night–probably more than five years ago–when a domme was doing a demo on “sounds” with a sub guy I knew as her demo bottom.
I stayed in the back with Michael, the owner of Paddles, far away from the action up on the stage. Both of us were bothered by the demo and couldn’t watch, and I remember us joking about it a bit. It seemed so over-the-top and painful for the poor sub. I figured he was “just a pain slut,” although, the type of pain he was receiving seemed foreign to me.
Fast forward to Friday at the LIFE in Nassau presentation on sounding (I’ve just learned that it’s also called “cock stuffing”). I was not keen on the idea of going to this demo, except that Johnny had asked me to come watch. After some slight hesitation, I agreed. He’d told me that it was a type of play he enjoyed; that he loved the sensation. So I told him I didn’t know if I could ever perform this type of play on him, but I’d watch and see what I thought.
I was interested in the technique, and I learned a lot about that, but I was more interested in watching Johnny’s face. I wanted to see if what he’d told me was true, that he didn’t feel pain but just enjoyed the sensation. A couple of guys in the audience, who knew LISorceress and Johnny, proceeded to make a lot of off-color remarks … some of which were funny, but I felt bad for Johnny and I’m sure it must have affected his concentration. I moved closer to the front, got a side view. I could see what LISorceress was doing to him along with his reactions. He seemed fairly relaxed, although he did seem to have to focus more as the size of the rods progressed. LISorceress used four different sizes on him, starting small and moving up.
So, I didn’t get freaked out. It didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would, and I could see that Johhny did not seem to be in pain. I can’t say I’m chomping at the bit to start using sounds on someone, but it’s an exciting, different type of play, and I can put it on the back burner and see how I feel down the road.