Not sure what’s happening lately, but it’s good! I’ve been feeling this terric energy between my toppy self & my play partners/bottoms. I played with J. last
Monday night and it was simply incredible. He was somewhat vulnerable as he bottomed, and I felt a real surge of power, but in some odd way I felt vulnerable, too, because I had expressed a desire to fulfill a particular fantasy with him that I’d never done with anyone before.
At Shadow Lane & before that, at Chicago Crimson Moon, I had several wonderful scenes, both preplanned and spontaneous.
I know a big part of it is feeling free in choosing partners, saying no when I want to say no, and saying yes when I feel someone will really be fun to play with. next thing I need to work on is stepping a little further out of my comfort zone and doing more of the asking, when there’s someone I am attracted to and want to play with. I actually did this a week or so ago– connected with someone I’ve known for over a year and asked for a play date. The man in question is a sexy babe, a LOT younger than me, and when he responded that he was definitely interested, I was all, “Oh, yeah!”… now, I start to plot and scheme…
I need to feel excited about playing … I’ve gone to parties or had play dates scheduled where my energy was just not there (well, even if I like someone a lot that can happen). I can can still get something out of a scene if I don’t feel a strong connection with someone, but it’s just not the same as saying, “I can’t WAIT to get my hands on him!”