Cassandra Park

In my last post I started to write about the scene I had on Sunday with Spike_NY, my Dom until recently. I didn’t mention that after the bath brushing, after the knife play & the whipping on my inner thighs and pussy, he strapped me with three different straps, the pinnacle being his scary razor strop. Fantasy objects meet reality. It ain’t easy… But there was a reason Spike was my Dom, and there is a reason I still like playing with him. He pushes my boundaries. He creates scary scenarios. He makes me take things I am petrified of. You’re going to use THAT? THERE? Oh, fuck! I am not some super masochist. I don’t lie back & say, “Bring it on.” I am scared. I don’t know if I can take it. I DON’T think I take it well. It sometimes reduces me to a panicky, blubbering mess. It’s at those times, when I don’t say “red” and my top surges forward, that the magic starts to happen. It doesn’t look like magic. Like I said I may be struggling, I may be hating it. On Sunday I was screaming quite a bit. He took a few seconds break, perhaps, & kept going. The whip struck my thighs, my mound, played with the clothespins but didn’t knock any off, at first. I had this hopeful notion in my head that perhaps the clothespins would block the whip from striking my pussy. Wishful thinking. When it first touched down I yelled. No, he’s not doing this to me, he won’t do more … And another scream as it hit the target again, lightening on my cunt. Unbearable, unbearable… I am not a tough girl, I am not … but I am not saying red. The whipping continues. At one point Spike got impatient at the progress, as far as removing the clothespins, and he simply reached down and ripped a handful off all at once. The zipper was not as painful as the whipping, and if it meant I wouldn’t be whipped as long, I was grateful. I couldn’t escape or turn over, but some strikes made me sit straight up and roar. I was encased in the straitjacket & hood, and believe me, I was sweating. It’s hard to think much about anything beyond the pain, while it’s happening. It’s only afterward that I feel high, ecstatic, grateful & full of admiration about how he had pushed me. I felt so close to him, felt a kinship. The two sides of the coin, melded together. I’ve mentioned before that there are only a handful of people who can do this to me. By “can do,” of course I mean “i allow to.” Any garden-variety sadist can reduce a sub to tears. I need them to understand, to have an inkling of what I’m going through … but also, when the scene’s over and the toys are put away, I need them to care about me & I need to care about them.

I wanted to post a little update about “My First Spanking,” the spanking anthology I’m editing for Ravenous Romance. I’ve received about 20 stories already, and I am going to start narrowing down my choices, this week.

There is still time to get your stories in, and I could definitely use a few more.

Make them quirky, romantic, or sexy — as long as they meet the guidelines (see details here), send them in! Submissions are due by the end of January. So far I’m enjoying the variety of themes people have submitted.

Ravenous Romance is run by a Domme friend of mine in the local community, and I’m happy to be joining her list of editors. I do realize that I still need to be writing myself. The last several weeks I’ve been very busy with other freelance (editing) projects, but I’ve met all those deadlines and I can now focus on this book and on my own stories. I’m happy I have at least started a new piece of fiction. I’m not happy that I have about 3 or 4 other stories started but not finished. All of these need to be looked at again and fleshed out. But one thing at a time.

Questions? Email me at mscassandrapark@gmail.com

I had some terrific experiences this weekend in Chicago at the Crimson Moon’s Halloween “Spooktacular.” A lot of play goes on at spanking parties, because, although there are many people who just love spanking, there are also many people who love spanking as well as other types of play. In the past I’ve been tied up, flogged and single-tailed (among other things).

This weekend was no exception. I got to Chicago late Thursday night, said hello to some people but did not hang out for too long as I was pretty beat. The next day I had some work to do in the morning/early afternoon, so didn’t actually start “my” party until around 2 p.m.

Miss Chief had organized, for the second year in a row, an all-female play party. When I got to the room, I was still sort of decompressing from my travels the day before and the work I’d just finished, so I didn’t really feel like being spanked yet and I wasn’t sure who I wanted to spank. But I saw that one of the women was about to do a “fire cupping” scene on another woman. I had seen this from across the room last year and wanted to get a closer view both of the technique and of the bottom’s reaction.

Fire cupping involves taking a glass cup, igniting a wand and heating up the inside of the glass, then sticking the glass to the body so that the suction lifts a big “hickie” into the glass. It’s the strangest looking thing.

During the demo at the party, after 7 or 8 cups had been placed, the top began to move them around on the skin. The bottom made some moaning noises. Were they noises of pleasure or pain? I couldn’t tell; some people process pain differently. I finally just asked her how it felt. She said it was like a hot rock massage and that it just felt warm. Not painful.

When the top was done her first fire-cupping scene, I asked if she would let me experience it. I’m open to new types of play that don’t seem TOO over-the-top. Fire cupping is certainly different, but it didn’t seem risky and the “victims” seemed to enjoy it. Still, I wondered if the sensation would freak me out. I don’t react well to electrical play, even the non-painful kind — it’s an irritating feeling to me. I thought maybe I’d react that way to cupping: It wouldn’t hurt, it would just feel weird and uncomfortable.

But I’m game for new adventures. There’s always safe words if you need them! I took off my shirt and lay down on the bed. The dom first rubbed my back all over with baby oil. She explained later that the oil makes the cups move more easily and it’s a less painful scene than doing it on dry skin.

She had a lit candle and a small jar containing alcohol and a few mini-torches. The technique is to take one of the torches, ignite it in the candle flame, run it quickly around the interior of the cup and then stick the cup to the person’s back. When the first one was applied I hardly felt anything at all, not even much pressure from the skin being sucked into the cup. A few subsequent cups she placed caused more pressure. But it did feel good, even when she started moving the cups around on my back, sliding them around on the skin. It was nice, not exactly like a massage to me, but nice. A warm feeling.

Cupping is considered therapeutic and is used at spas or as an alternative to acupressure. Here’s a YouTube demo of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt2Dz3Y38ng&feature=related.

I could have done, once again, with the dirty looks from a certain person after I said no thank you to a play request. It hurts to be turned down, but it also doesn’t feel good to have to turn someone down, and it really sucks to have to turn someone down for the fifth or sixth time. I’ve said this before: If I approached a guy and asked for play and he said no, I would never approach him again–he’d have to make the first move. I wish someone could explain why some guys ask girls to play over and over after the first “no.” And I don’t even say, “Not now” or “Maybe later.” I say, “No, thank you.” I do feel for those who aren’t playing, but a lot of these guys play a lot because of their persistence.

I usually attend the female tops/male bottoms parties they hold at most spanking parties (they’re usually held on a Friday or Saturday afternoon, for one or two hours). In the past I’ve played with anyone who wanted to play, if there was enough time. Some guys are new, some are very shy, and this helps break the ice for them. Many I’ve had no attraction to at all but I played with them because I felt that was my obligation at this particular event.

But because of past history, there are a few men with whom I simply don’t want to play, and I no longer feel any obligation toward meeting their needs.

One of the reasons I don’t want to play with Mr. Dirty Looks is that he is insatiable and demanding. (not only with tops but with people in general–at hotels, at restaurants, etc.) I’ve topped him in the past and he always wanted more and more and more. When I was working as a pro he would never consider booking me for a real session, but tried to abuse the mini-specials I used to run at Paddles. (The special was $20 for 20 strokes with the implement of your choice–cane, paddle, strap, etc.–or a 15-minute hand spanking. He’d ask for the special, then want me to use every item in his toy bag). Because of him and a few others I eventually offered this special to newbies only.

At one spanking party in the recent past this man insulted me by making sure I knew he preferred a certain famous pro-domme over me. I don’t like that. Don’t tell me you like someone else’s style better. You like Ms. Famous Pro better? Go play with Ms. Famous Pro and then don’t bother me.

This is NOT in any way a jibe at Ms. Famous Pro, who is actually very nice. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to monopolize her time, too, without giving anything back.

I play with whom I think I will enjoy playing with. The last three Crimson Moons I’ve enjoyed playing with my friend Richard because he’s nice, he’s fun and he can take a lot. I can go to town on him with the cane, paddles, whips or lots of other toys, and he loves it. And he doesn’t have to do this, but he offers me a massage at some point later in the weekend as an “exchange.” It’s a good massage (I just had mine earlier today) and I love it.

Some bottoms turn me on to look at, some are good friends, some can take a lot of pain so it’s exciting, some challenge you and you’re just in the mood to accept the challenge. Some you just want to hurt. And some you MAY just want to hurt, but you know they would like it too much …