Cassandra Park

This morning I am heading back to the “real world,” my job, temp though it is, it does pay the bills. I am armed with cough drops, cough syrup, generic Musinex, Tylenol, my next dose of antibiotic and my water bottle, as I must get plenty of fluids.

I know it’s ridiculous to write so much about being sick, but this has practically destroyed any desire for BDSM or spanking play the last couple of days, so it’s hard to focus on a kinky topic.

I will say that I know I’ll have a resurgence. Maybe this’ll happen by the weekend. Rad & I were talking about a trip to Maryland to visit spanko friends and attend a party on Saturday night. I think I may pass on traveling this weekend, however. I want to be fully recovered. Locally, it will be OTK night at Paddles so maybe we’ll make an appearance there. But i was also invited to a birthday party. Choices…

After that, who knows? I haven’t gone to a scene party (non-spanking) without my Dom yet, and I may have to test the waters soon. I missed being in sub mode on New Year’s Eve, although, in a funny way, I’ve been in subby/little girl mode the last five days or so as my “Daddy” (Rad) has taken care of me and made sure I was taking my medicine.

I need more than that, of course. But all in good time. No need to rush.

I have a huge 400-page manuscript to work on, and I think in a little while I’ll go out to Starbucks to see if I can be more productive there. (Starbucks is often a good atmosphere for me). If I get a lot of work done, I’m going to reward myself by driving out to L.I. tonight for the LIK’em — Long Island Kink ‘Enthusiasts Munch. I am off all week from my regular job so 1) I don’t have to travel out from Manhattan, and 2) I don’t have to work the next day.

It’s a good, fun group, from what I’ve seen, although admittedly I’ve only been to one so far. The food is good and it seems that the atmosphere allows a little more freedom than a regular diner munch. I live in Northeast Queens and work in Manhattan, so a lot of the activity on Long Island is a pain in the butt to get to. But I make the effort when I can because I’ve gotten to know some great people and I want to keep building those relationships. And I may meet some new people that I want to play with, too.

The next Long Island Leather N Roses meeting will be tomorrow night, and I’m thinking it will be a pretty lively event as it’s going to be an “Open Forum Fishbowl,” or, as the Fetlife event page describes it, a “Meeting of the Minds.” The panel is ready to answer any question about the BDSM lifestyle. Here’s more from the event description:

Everyone has a question they want to ask, and many have answers to share. Sometimes we don’t have the opportunity to exchange these ideas. This is the time to share those questions and answers, as LILNR presents our Open Forum Fish Bowl Q & A Session moderated by Sir Richard , Wyzasswench, Mistress Sopia, and Adam/Allison.

This is NOT a panel discussion by these four moderators. Instead this is an open forum to exchange ideas, opinions, and knowledge of the questions brought to the floor. Everyone who wishes to participate will be able to ask, answer, or contribute to the discussion. 

The questions will be drawn from posted questions on the LILNR list on Fetlife or Yahoo. Also, questions may be sent to the LILNR Coordinatiors, or privately to any of the moderators. Additionally, questions that arise during the group meeting will be used, as time permits. 

The moderators also welcome answers from the floor.

This will be my first time attending one of these “fishbowl” events. Here’s how Wikipedia describes them, but as far as the BDSM scene goes, I understand that Jay Wiseman had a lot to do with starting this type of meeting. (Correct me if that’s wrong).

Hope many in the New York area can attend.

 I think I left the impression, when I wrote about FetFest a few days ago, that I didn’t connect with others much. I wanted to revise that a bit. There were more connections happening than I’d suggested, but most of them were of the “getting to know people a little better” nature.

I got to top SubMale9992003 (Bruce), whom I’ve known for years but never played with. I used his floggers, canes and other toys, which simplified things for me. I know his canes are the ones sold and used by Mistress Nona (Mistress Mine on FetLife, proprietor of the Iron Bell Academy). They’re good quality canes, and Bruce can take a pretty good thrashing, so we had fun. He’s expressed to me on several occasions that he can take it hard if the top builds up as she plays. So I tried to do that with him. I started light and sensual, then spanked him, then flogged him–going from soft to hard floggers–and finally I caned him.

He had cane lines on his butt already, so I assumed he’d played earlier in the weekend. But Bruce said they were lingering marks from a session with Mistress Nona a week or so prior. I was his first top of the weekend, and I felt good that we got to play. I really liked watching the series of parallel lines forming on his butt as I went along, and the low sounds he was making in response to the cane.

Bruce is smart and a really nice guy–an ex-Marine. My Dom and I shared most of our meals with him during FetFest. We see him often at Paddles and at parties in Long Island.

Over the weekend, I also had occasion to talk with and attend classes run by Jim Deuder, International Mr. Leather Bootblack 2011. I’ve known Jim casually for many years, he was friends with Master Blair when she used to live in the NY area. I knew her as Mistress Blair back then, and she gave me one of the hardest scenes I’ve taken to this day. Here is a pic from that day.

I think I feel a bit shy around “Leather People.” I never know if I fit in, if I am accepted as one of them — which may sound crazy, since I do plenty of fetish activities and I have a Dom. Yet, I’m not in any ritualized family structure and my public group activity is fun, party play. My “Leather Family” members are my Long Island friends and my spanking friends. Jim is queer, and I don’t always know if I’ll be accepted by those of that orientation.

But, Jim was nice–he always is. I don’t know the significance of Mr. International Bootblack, but he likes to polish boots and it’s got meaning to those whose boots are symbolic of their lifestyle. I’ve had my boots blacked–we did it at TES Fest–it feels good and you get shiny, new-looking boots as a result. At many fetish events, a boot-blacking station is set up to raise money for charity.

Beyond those connections, there were other people from NY that I got to talk to a little more, like Lolita Wolf, a BDSM educator who gives classes and works at Purple Passion.

Some of the FetFest connections remain anonymous. I did find a FetLife profile for the hot young thing I got to strap on Monday morning, but I’m hovering in the background for now. I am old enough to be her mom!

Overall I did have fun, even if the connections were brief. I can’t say anyone I met will go on to be my “next best BDSM friend” but that’s fine. I feel a part of this community and that’s good enough.

Slutty school girl is alive and well, and expected to be spotted this weekend at FetFest. I’ll get some pics of me wearing this new outfit very soon. I also have another very cute top that goes with it. All were found at Purple Passion.

Some have suggested that there is no need for clothes at a clothing-optional camping event. Yes, we can all run naked through the woods (pass the Deep Woods Off, please). There is certainly a time for letting everything hang out, and I’m all for that. (click on photo for sexy video).

But I like special dress-up clothes. Often you look sexier in clothes than out of them.

Speaking of slutty/sexy, some very interesting people have been writing to me about potential play, including a few newbies just prime for corruption. I cannot wait to meet them. Who knows what this weekend will hold?