Cassandra Park

I’m beginning to edit “My First Spanking,” an anthology of spanking stories from a fabulous group of authors, many of them members of the spanking community. Each author had a different idea about how to portray a first spanking and I’m very happy about the wide variety. More to come on that shortly.

In the meantime, my writing will be featured in another book due out soon, “The Spanking Hand Book.” The publisher, Instructing Eve, based in Australia, describes it as an “informative, erotic and beautifully presented eBook that will be focused on spanking with a male/female domination and submission theme. … We are proud to have some of the best and biggest spanking celebrities in the field writing interesting and erotic chapters on how to give, get and enjoy adult spanking.”

For a view into the other side, I was asked to write a piece about spanking men. It’s short and sweet and includes a helpful information box with tips. When it’s ready to go, you’ll be able to purchase it here through my website and eventually through the publishers.

I’m continuing to write; it was a productive week volume-wise but I was not so happy with the quality. I know it’ll emerge eventually if I keep going.

Tomorrow, Rad and I travel to Virginia Beach to the first southern edition of the Fortress of Pervitude (as the parties that used to be held in Jersey City were called). It’s a long drive, but I miss my friends Y & T and I know we’ll have fun.

When Wes, the coordinator of the TES spanking special interest group, asked me to do a talk in front of the group on Feb. 1, he also left it up to me to pick the topic. After some hemming and hawing, I came up with “pain processing, pain acceptance.” (Here’s the link to the FetLife event page: https://fetlife.com/events/87499/v2.)

It’s a topic that’s close to my own heart. Believe me, as much as I love a hard scene, as much as I like being taken down a notch, I struggle greatly with the process. It is never easy. I am afraid. I may be shaking, breaking out in a sweat, yelling, sobbing, sometimes screaming. I can’t imagine what I was thinking. I just want it to end. I am often relieved when it ends.

But then I come back for more.

There is something about pain that I need. It relieves stress and anxiety, it brings about a positive outlook, it gets me high … It sometimes makes me come. Putting myself into a situation where I “have no choice” is a joyful abdication of the responsibilities of life, the countless ways throughout my normal day where I have to be grownup and do my job and make 1,000 different decisions.

Submitting to the pain of a good spanking eventually brings me to that blissful place where I feel strong and alive.

But first I have to get through the ordeal. And it’s not easy, but I have developed a few techniques along my journey. I’m going to talk about that tomorrow (Weds, Feb. 1) at the meeting, I’ll share what some others have said about pain, and I’ll take feedback from the audience.

I hope to see many kindred spirits, the others out there — bottoms, subs, masochists, pain sluts or however you choose to label yourself. How do YOU process pain? And why do YOU do it?

A few upcoming events/announcements.

1) The deadline for short story submissions (“My First Spanking”) is Tuesday, Jan. 31 by 11:59 p.m. Click on the link at right (under “Latest News”) for details.

2) I’ll be speaking on Wednesday (Feb 1) at the TES spanking group. The topic is how masochists, bottoms and submissives process the pain of a hard spanking. If you’re in New York, please come join us. If you’re elsewhere, I welcome your thoughts on this before (or even after) the meeting.

3) My writing will be featured in an upcoming publication called “The Spanking Handbook,” a non-fiction collection of essays by various writers in the spanking scene.

More details to follow about all three of these topics… have a great week!

This post is just a quickie before bedtime; I may expand on it in the morning.

I was asked to speak at the upcoming TES spanking group on Feb. 1, and the topic I picked was something I’ve been wanting to talk about for some time — how to process the pain of a hard spanking or discipline.

I have a rough outline and my own ideas on how I process pain (sometimes, the answer is “not very well”). But I wanted to ask other bottoms, subs, masochists, etc. — how do you accept a hard scene? Do you have a preparatory ritual? Does it depend on what’s happening or the person you’re with?

I’d really love to hear others’ thoughts on this. You can respond here, on FetLife, or shoot me an email (mscassandrapark@gmail.com). I’ll probably repeat some of them here in a future blog (let me know whether or not you want your name used, and what name to use if so).

Cross posted on FetLife.

In my last post I started to write about the scene I had on Sunday with Spike_NY, my Dom until recently. I didn’t mention that after the bath brushing, after the knife play & the whipping on my inner thighs and pussy, he strapped me with three different straps, the pinnacle being his scary razor strop. Fantasy objects meet reality. It ain’t easy… But there was a reason Spike was my Dom, and there is a reason I still like playing with him. He pushes my boundaries. He creates scary scenarios. He makes me take things I am petrified of. You’re going to use THAT? THERE? Oh, fuck! I am not some super masochist. I don’t lie back & say, “Bring it on.” I am scared. I don’t know if I can take it. I DON’T think I take it well. It sometimes reduces me to a panicky, blubbering mess. It’s at those times, when I don’t say “red” and my top surges forward, that the magic starts to happen. It doesn’t look like magic. Like I said I may be struggling, I may be hating it. On Sunday I was screaming quite a bit. He took a few seconds break, perhaps, & kept going. The whip struck my thighs, my mound, played with the clothespins but didn’t knock any off, at first. I had this hopeful notion in my head that perhaps the clothespins would block the whip from striking my pussy. Wishful thinking. When it first touched down I yelled. No, he’s not doing this to me, he won’t do more … And another scream as it hit the target again, lightening on my cunt. Unbearable, unbearable… I am not a tough girl, I am not … but I am not saying red. The whipping continues. At one point Spike got impatient at the progress, as far as removing the clothespins, and he simply reached down and ripped a handful off all at once. The zipper was not as painful as the whipping, and if it meant I wouldn’t be whipped as long, I was grateful. I couldn’t escape or turn over, but some strikes made me sit straight up and roar. I was encased in the straitjacket & hood, and believe me, I was sweating. It’s hard to think much about anything beyond the pain, while it’s happening. It’s only afterward that I feel high, ecstatic, grateful & full of admiration about how he had pushed me. I felt so close to him, felt a kinship. The two sides of the coin, melded together. I’ve mentioned before that there are only a handful of people who can do this to me. By “can do,” of course I mean “i allow to.” Any garden-variety sadist can reduce a sub to tears. I need them to understand, to have an inkling of what I’m going through … but also, when the scene’s over and the toys are put away, I need them to care about me & I need to care about them.